Tukang Roti

Seorang tukang roti ditabrak metro mini, lalu polisi datang dan bertanya, "ada apa Pak??"

Si tukang roti yang uda sekarat menjawab, "ada nanas, keju,coklat, dan mocca.."

Nenek Sewot

Seorang nenek yang nyebrang jalan hampir ketabrak motor.

Pengendara motor marah : "Nenek bego! Nyebrang jalan gak liat-liat!"

Nenek sewot : "Lo yg bego!! Nabrak nenek-nenek aja gak kena..!!"

Gembala Yang Mengesalkan.

Suatu hari, Eko seorang mahasiswa peternakan berpapasan dengan seorang gembala dengan kambingnya. Eko bertanya dengan takjub:

Eko : "Pak, boleh nanya nih?"
Gembala : "Boleh"

Eko : "Kambing-kambing bapak sehat sekali, bapak kasih makan apa?"
Gembala : "Yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?"

Eko : "Mmm yang hitam dulu deh........"
Gembala : "Oh, kalo yang hitam, dia makannya rumput basah"

Eko : "Ooohh....kalo yang putih?"
Gembala : "Yang putih juga...."

Eko : "Hmmm....kambing-kambing ini, kuat jalan berapa kilo pak?"
Gembala : "Yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?"

Eko : "Mmm yang hitam dulu deh........"
Gembala : "Oh, kalo yang hitam, 4 km sehari"

Eko : "Ooohh....kalo yang putih?"
Gembala : "Yang putih juga...." Si Eko mulai gondok........

Eko : "Kambing ini, menghasilkan banyak bulu pertahunnya ya,pak?"
Gembala : "Yang mana dulu nih? Yang hitam atau yang putih?"

Eko : (dengan kesalnya) "Yang hitam dulu deh...."
Gembala : "Oh, kalo yang hitam, banyak......10 kg/th"

Eko : "Kalo yang putih?"
Gembala : "Yang putih juga...."

Si Eko mulai kesal: "BAPAK INI KENAPA SIH SELALU NGEBEDAIN KAMBING JADI 2, PADAHAL JAWABANNYA SAMA AJA ????????????"
Gembala : "Oh, gini dik, soalnya yang hitam itu, punya saya......"

Eko : "Oh begitu pak, maafin saya kalo gitu, habisnya saya emosi. Kalo yang putih punya siapa, pak??"
Gembala : "Yang putih juga"

Eko : !!!!!??????????

Three Questions

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

The Lawyes Was Right

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.

Mission To Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go -- and couldn’t return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” asked the interviewer.

The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”

The Brain

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"